So much for my happy ending....

It was half-way through the afternoon yesterday before I realized I was the only woman in a meeting room full of men. It's strange and a little disheartening that that still happens, no? Funny I didn't notice it earlier.

I've been thinking about the ends of stories lately. That's what's most disturbing about not returning to Belgrade - it's messy and unfinished. There's a lack of closure.

I know what my team and I did in Serbia & Montenegro, the positive impact that we had. The impact the experience had on me. My team and some others know, while others forget, the contributions I made. I worry only that what happened last weekend is the second part of a "one step forward, two steps back"-type deal - but this is now out of my hands. I truly wish the best for everyone there, that they will look for the best in others and each other, and take positive steps forward together.

I experienced the end of a different story a few weeks ago. A chance encounter assured me that a difficult step I'd taken in the name of friendship had been the right one, even though it was unwelcome at the time. It was nice to be able to see a positive ending, and put that sub-plot to rest, even though years have passed.

I thought I was managing to please people on both sides of the Atlantic and also, that they were all pleasing me. I was only partly right. I was pleasing the people important to me, personally, but in the end it wasn't enough.

But life goes on - work is going well here and I am getting busier, making more money, which is a nice little benefit of having real work. I enjoy the people I work for and with. The subject matter is interesting. I can feel good about the things we are doing. I will buy a car soon. Piece by piece, my life in Canada is coming back together.

Oh, for those of you who also like to know the ends of stories - there had been a check-in at the Hotel California. Not all stories have such a nice, neat, definitive ending. OK well - maybe that ending is not exactly "neat".